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培养孩子的自理能力,光“说”没用,方法很关键

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“教育”不是在盛大的话语中,也不是在遥远的目标中,而是在当下的细节中,细节的制定,即教育做得好。世界上没有不听话的孩子。只要方法合适,孩子就是好孩子。

1

如何“微调”你的孩子?

有人说:“世界上没有两个相同的孩子。孩子和孩子是不同的。”这种说法可以被视为真理或无意义,取决于说话者具有何种心理倾向。在尊重个体差异方面,我们必须设法避免在每个教育细节中对儿童进行简单粗暴的对待。我们相信教育的力量是强大的。这是正确的。如果你认为生活好或坏,有些人需要尊重和需要。打鼾,有些人生来就有伟大,有些人出生和堕落,并且叹息说教育不是本能,这是错误的。

教育应该研究人类的共同心理规律,目的是通过外部控制和刺激引发健康的内心心理倾向。因此,从教育工作者的角度来看,我更倾向于强调人是一样的。这实际上是由心理学证实的,并且受到无数哲学家的强调。 “人的起点,性质良好,性别相似,西乡源”,这是孔子一切教育理想的立足点和前提,是中外古今教育思想的基础。国家。

儿童尚未接触到社会文化。作为自然和纯粹的人,相似性更高。每个孩子都包含所有孩子的特征和心理需求。因此,我们可以相信教育的力量面对每个不同的孩子,每个不同的教育情境,想办法,通过共同教育法,通过“微调”,解决成千上万的不同问题。

在我女儿圆圆大约三四岁时,我像天下所有妈妈一样,希望孩子能学会自己收拾玩具。我开始培养圆圆收玩具的办法很直接,就是告诉她玩过后要自己把玩具收起来,但她总是收得丢三落四的,我就得不断提醒,这里还有一个没收拾,那个也要收起来。结果弄得她对收玩具这件事很抵触,也做得很被动,一直没有进步,总得我跟在屁股后面不断唠叨。

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2

意识到问题后,我开始想办法

有一天,我对圆圆说,以前都是妈妈指挥你收玩具,今天你指挥妈妈,让妈妈来收拾好不好?她一听,非常乐意,说好,立即就有大权在握的感觉,不由自主四处看去,观察哪些东西要收起来。

我模仿她平时的样子,只把放在眼前的一些收起来,然后就说收好了。圆圆作为监管者,眼里开始有活儿,不知不觉地像我平时那样,告诉我这里有一个没收,那里有一个也需要收起来。我乖乖地听她的指挥,一趟又一趟地跑着,直到她认为东西都已收好。

其实有几个小玩具还没收起来,但她没注意到,我不直接说出来,担心那样会降低孩子的成就感。晚上和在外地出差的爸爸通电话,我故意把这件事讲给爸爸听,爸爸随后在电话中表扬了圆圆。

接下来一次收拾玩具,还是她做监工,我动手。把玩具收好后,我说,宝宝指挥得这么好,玩具收得这么干净。家还有一点乱,要么你再指挥妈妈收拾一下屋子?其实还有两个玩具她没看到,我也假装没看到,暂时没收。

XX这轮谈判仍未完成。听我说,我回来了。我会环顾四周告诉我把沙发垫放在沙发上的地板上,然后告诉我将咖啡桌上的杯子送到厨房,然后告诉我沙发上的衣服挂了.在这样做的过程中,我假装无意中找到了两个仍被没收的小玩具,并叹了口气,“哦,我没注意到这一点”,并将小玩具送到玩具篮。然后,安静而顺利地将圆圈没有指挥的东西放在一起。

房子很快看起来干净整洁。我愉快地环顾四周,对圈子说,婴儿的命令非常好,房子很干净。圆形也可以感受到房子正面和背面的区别,非常充实。

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接下来的两三次清理房子,全面指挥,我跑了。她比以前更仔细地观察,她的命令越来越好。但我知道我不能继续这样做,所以在我再次完成工作后,我对她说,我曾经是你的母亲,指导你去工作。这些时候,你命令你的母亲去工作。稍后,让我们轮流担任指挥。你说?这一轮是好的,所以我在接下来的几包中与她交换了角色,我将成为指挥一段时间并且工作一段时间。

当我工作的时候,我故意说我必须尽我所能让她的指挥官什么都不做。因此,当她工作时,她也努力做到最好。显然,她的眼睛里有工作,知道应该放弃什么,全心全意地做,而不是仅仅在过去处理我。

当我作为一名工人工作时,我故意省略并为她的命令留下了一些空间。当我扮演指挥官时,我严格监督并闭上眼睛,不让她感到尴尬。简而言之,我试图了解她作为一个孩子的能力,而不是要求;与此同时,让她有成就感,并且做家务的经验并不是一件复杂的事情。

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3

用正确的方法收获好孩子

I have not been doing this thing for a long time. After playing for a while, I am not interested. The main thing is that I am not interested in the round. I am too lazy to insist on it. Therefore, I have not developed the habit of actively collecting toys every day. But I believe she has gained something. After that, she will go to clean up the toys or clean up the house. The ability is obviously long. I think this is enough.

In the round of growth, in many labor skills, such as washing dishes, washing clothes, cleaning up the desk, etc. I use a similar way to stimulate interest, so that she can experience the main, without letting her feel that she is being forced into housework. So small children, focus on getting initial labor skills, feeling the sense of accomplishment of labor, rather than how much work to do every day. These initial skills and interests are the yeasts that the child will be able to form in normal life.

In the kindergarten and elementary school, I was circled to do some housework, and I didn’t do housework after I went to middle school. Because her time is obviously not enough, in addition to learning homework, but also reading, playing games, practicing piano, etc. I simply can't bear to use housework to divide her time. Doing housework is a simple matter. As long as the child does not hate it, it will naturally be done when it is time to do it.

After she finished the college entrance examination, I greeted her to cook with me and found that she had strong hands-on ability. She cut the potato silk for the first time. Although it was awkward, it was cut thin and even. In other household chores, they are all a bit clumsy at first, but they are quick to be proficient and do a good job. Although from the current point of view, Yuanyuan is not a master of housework, it is no longer a problem to take care of one's own life. As a parent, I am very satisfied with this.

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There are no disobedient children in the world. As long as the method is right, the children are good children. Like education and medical care, the value of its existence is based on the similarity between people. Without the grasp of similarity, there is no ability to differentiate. Therefore, "education" is not in the grand discourse, nor in the distant goal, but in the current details, the details are made, that is, the education is done well.

xx《金刚经》据说任何恒河的沙子都包含整个宇宙。每个孩子也是一个小宇宙,我们需要以谦卑和诚意对待彼此。

作为家长或老师,如何测试我们对待孩子的方法是不对的,如何避免被一些所谓的“教育专家”或“心理学家”误导,有一种简单的测试方法:你让孩子哭,忧郁,屈服,或让他笑,平安,并接受这种方法不仅用于自我识别,还用于判断专家的水平。不要使用教育意图,不要使用专家声誉;教育是非,用儿童表达和反应足以判断。

只要方法是正确的,它不仅可以让眼前的情况从“山水和重水的恢复”步入“燕轩华明另一个村庄”,而且还可以秘密滋养孩子的良好品格,使这个好角色迁移。这是教育的魅力,具有四个或两个的效果。